From Gaslighting to Grace: The Rising Power of the “And” Woman

For as long as I can remember, I’ve been fascinated by the women (and humans) who carry it all.

I saw it in my mom, my aunts, my grandmother. I see it in my clients, my colleagues, my friends, and my community. And, I’ve lived it myself.

The one who can crush a boardroom presentation while still remembering which kid has soccer practice, which elder has a doctor’s appointment, and which friend needs a shoulder to cry on.

The one who can raise millions for a cause, hit their revenue targets, and mentor rising talent ... yet, still feels undone by the chaos in their own kitchen.

The one who leads with fire, holds it all together with grace … and wonders, quietly, in the dark: Is this really sustainable?

The Myth of Either/Or

For too long, leadership has been framed as a choice:

• Career or family.

• Purpose or presence.

• Ambition or ease.

We’ve been told that if we want to be taken seriously in one domain, we must sacrifice the other. That this is the equation for work/life balance ... which, by the way, is a lie. There is only you living your life ... work is just a spoke on your life wheel. 

Because what I see ... what I live (and have lived), is something different. It's not about a trade-off or balancing two things, it's about finding your center ... and, your own harmony. 

It’s not either/or.
It’s and.

This is what I call the “And” Woman.
(and every “And” Human who carries it all)

Who Is the “And” Woman?

She stands at the intersection of leadership, relationships, and legacy.

She is the mom, the dad, the auntie, the uncle, the grandma, the caretaker, the friend, the partner, the one everyone leans on. She carries it all.

A visionary leader and a parent.
A powerhouse at work and a human who longs for more ease, joy, and peace at home.
Smart, savvy, badass, iconic … and sometimes just tired.

She juggles all the balls, glass and rubber, knowing some can bounce ... but others may shatter.

From the outside, people see success. Inside, she’s weary of the gaslighting, from others, yes … but mostly from the quiet voice insisting she should be able to do it all without help.

At work, the dopamine hits are addictive. At home, it can feel like feral parenting: raising kids while reparenting herself (and sometimes even her own parents) at the same time.

She carries it all: boardrooms, playgrounds, and a mighty mission that won’t stop calling.

She's craving something more: more ease, more meaning, more impact, more connection … and, real, sustainable results that doesn’t cost her peace, her joy, or her soul.

She's no longer interested in killing herself trying to “win” in a system that was never built for her success ... aligned with her rhythm, values, and legacy.

•  A system that rewards grind but drains your spirit.
•  A system that applauds endless doing but erodes your being.
•  A system that sells you “balance” while forcing trade-offs

Where every win at work often feels like a sacrifice at home; every moment of presence at home feels like something slips or fails in your mission.

She is ready.

A New Way Forward

The “And” Woman is not a problem to be fixed.
She is a revolution to be honored.

She is ready for her next level: to live intentionally, on purpose, building legacies that break old cycles and create intergenerational systems of care.

She is redefining leadership ... from love, with love.

The “And” Woman Manifesto

For visionary and revolutionary leaders rewriting the rules of legacy and love

• Live radically authentic, in alignment with your own design.

• Show up as the magnetic leader you already are.

• Raise resilient, empowered humans at home and in your community.

You are fire and grace.
Purpose and play.
Love and the rising divine power that will not be dimmed.

You are the “And.”

Why I Wrote This Manifesto

I wrote this Manifesto because I know how heavy it can feel to carry it all ... and how easy it is to lose yourself in the process.

I wrote it because I’ve sat with the leaders who are building empires by day and crying in their bathrooms at night.

I wrote it because I’ve worked with parents who are raising the next generation of leaders while quietly wondering if they’re failing their own kids.

I wrote it because I know the currency of leadership has changed.

It’s no longer about titles, positions, or profits. It’s about the quality of our relationships, the return our influence and impact, at work, at home, and within ourselves.

This is my work. This is my calling.

I am your Leadership Alchemist, Human Design Guide, and “Aunt Candy.”

The mentor who cuts through the bullshit, calls you forward, and loves your kids (and your teams) like my own. I’ll sit with you in the mess, laugh and cry with you in the chaos, and remind you who you really are. Because you don’t need another checklist or self-help program.

You need someone who sees the whole you … and helps you integrate all of it into YOUR life, your work, your parenting, your legacy, and your leadership.

My Invitation

If you see yourself in this Manifesto, know this: you are not alone.

You are not failing. You are not broken. You are not too much. You are the “And.”

And it’s time to live like it.

👉 Ready to explore what this looks like for you? Start by downloading your FREE Human Design Chart and FREE Summary Report that outlines your blueprint: www.candybarone.com/HD-chart