As transformational leaders, entrepreneurs, parents, role models, business owners, and humans, we often find ourselves face with moments of setbacks, hardship, and even … crisis.
The chaos and disruption can feel like it comes out of nowhere, knocking us off our game, and knocking out our focus.
When this happens, it can be easy to get caught up in the downward spiral of the negative “what ifs”, and in what feels like it is happening to us, rather than remembering that all life is happening for us and through us.
And, we often lose sight of how to tune into practical tools of resilience to help us remain calm, centered and open.
The most simple definition of resilience is the ability to “bounce back” … or, the ability to be happy, successful and grateful again after something bad or difficult has happened. It is merely the ability to return quickly to a positive or neutral state after something bad has occurred.
I’d like to offer a even more expansive definition …
Resiliency is also the space in between reaction and response.
It’s the space in between, where resiliency is born, and it only happens when we pause (sometimes fully stop), assess, align, and redirect, or pivot.
As Willie Nelson once described:
“Music happens in the breath in between the notes.”
Therefore, resiliency is born from the breath we take in between the incident, itself, and the action we choose to take as a result.
It’s the breath, or space we allow that matters most.
As we currently are experienced many unexpected changes in the world right now … so many being or feeling like they are out of our control. As a result, many people are experiencing heightened fear, anxiety, confusion, stress, resentment, among a host of other feelings.
Perhaps, you resonate with this …
If so, there are ways to rise above the fear, to become more centered and grounded, in order to combat the chaos in when you are standing right smack in the middle of the storm.
And, as you navigate these murky waters, and the torrential downpours, there are tools and strategies you can implement and leverage to help guide you on your path. Here are some ones you can use starting right now:
#1: Meditate
Meditation has been proven to be a powerful and effective tool in creating stillness. By allowing ourselves to be still, to engage in mindful breathing and to sit with what presents, we also create space to release the anxiety, stress & fear showing up as a result of unknown conditions and worry.
There are many different types of meditation. If you are new to this space, there are a few easy ways to start.
- Candle Technique — Place a lit candle in front of you. sit in a position that feels comfortable to you. Simply allow you eyes to follow and focus only on the flame. Allow yourself to slow down your breathing and simply connect with the flame. Any time you find yourself distracted with thoughts, just bring your attention back to the flame. (Note: You might want to set a timer in advance, as it’s easy to fall into a trance-like state. This will help bring you back to the present after 10–20 minutes.)
- Guided Meditation — There are some amazing apps available to help you do this with little to no effort on your part. All you need to do is find a comfortable place to sit and push play on the meditation you selected from the app. Usually these meditations are 10–30 minutes in length. Some of my favorite apps are: Calm, Brain. FM, and Headspace. I also have some really awesome playlist on Spotify.
#2: Connect to Nature
Nature is God’s medicine. It soothes the soul and we are one with its rhythms. What nature breathes out, we breathe in.
Nothing simpler than that.
There is a perfection and grace in all that nature provides.
You can feel the protection of her strength and her warmth, how Mother Earth embraces each and every one of us as her own children.
When you give yourself space to connect, to slow down, to breathe in, and to marvel at what nature provides, you create a bridge for deeper connection and healing.
For me, I find nature to even be my church, where I easily can connect into my highest power, and talk to Source.
Simply by taking a walk, leaning up against a tree, listening to the leaves rustle, or just taking in the energy of it all can be so uplifting.
#3: Journal
Make sense of the endless chatter going on in your brain, and quiet down all the fears. Monkey mind needs a space to feel heard, to vent, to ramble, and to process it’s insecurities.
Journaling is a beautiful space to do that. It’s a judgement-free zone, and it’s one where you can just be you. For it allows you to remove the masks you tend to where throughout the day, get vulnerable and honest with yourself, and allow what wants, and truly needs, to be expressed to come through.
Journal is like talking to your best friend, only not getting an advice or feedback when you do.
It’s like speaking into the cosmic void.
Journaling provides you a powerful space to process, feel seen, heard, and offers you a safe space to work through your own truth.
#4: Play
We have been so busy adulting, that we often forget the healing power of play. I mean, when was the last time you allowed yourself to be creative, to be silly, to do something simply for the enjoyment of it?
You may be finding yourself directed to stay closer to home these days. This is a perfect time to let your inner child out.
Ah, the power of play! A lost or forgotten art for most.
Color, build forts, watch cartoons, play cards, and laugh for no reason at all! Play builds connection, not only to others, but for ourselves.
Be in the present moment. Celebrate life. For, in this moment, you are alive. Act like it! Play in the being-ness of that!
Be curious, and follow the path that lights you up. Explore, dream and let that beautiful imagination of yours have at it.
#5: Nourish Yourself
While I personally refuse to get overly invested in all the body shaming, quick fix, and programming hype of the “wellness” industry, I also am mindful that I need to take extra care to nourish my mind, body & spirit, along with ample space for restoration and sleep.
It matters what food, what thoughts, what words you allow into your body. Everything is energy. The more conscious you are about aligning yourself to the frequency and vibration of your highest Self, the more you prepare yourself to show up in the face of adversity.
This starts with how you nourish and feed your body.
Instead of grabbing the bag of potato chips and crap, feed your body with plant-based nutrients, with health and wellness. Definitely allow yourself indulgences, but be sure to be present with them. Enjoy the treat, or the dessert … simply be sure to really enjoy them.
As we know, moderation is key. Don’t shame yourself or restrict yourself.
Feel into your body. It knows what you want, and want you really need. Let your body guide you in how she wants to be nourished and cared for.
Feed your mind and heart with things that uplift your soul, things that raise your vibration, and things that resonate deeply with who you are.
Give space to feed your spirit (see my comments on meditation, connecting with nature, and play above). Create boundaries so nothing toxic can enter your space. Protect yourself from unnecessary negativity, fear and drama.
And, most importantly be sure to create space for real soul food … you know, anything and everything that feeds your soul, that uplifts your spirit, that brings you back home to yourself.
#6: Courageous, Connected Conversations
Be extremely mindful of where you place your energy and what conversations you entertain.
Words have magic.
You can create unnecessary anxiety, fear, overwhelm and worry when you engage in low vibration and toxic relationships and conversations. Those that are riddled with fear and keep you stuck in a victim mentality.
It’s robs us of our energy, as a result. We then put our armor up and shield ourselves from the world.
When we feel unsafe, our default can often lead to over-analyzing, brooding and constantly talking about what we don’t know.
We no longer stay wholehearted and open.
Instead, surround yourself with people and conversations that lift you up, support you, challenge you, and provide room for you to grow. Spaces and people who make you feel seen, heard, valued, and respected.
Surround yourself with love.
#7: Practice Gratitude
There’s a lot of discussion around how we need to have an “attitude of gratitude”. While I can appreciate this sentiment, I also find something to be very lacking in this framing.
An attitude is just that … an attitude. It’s an intention without action.
I prefer to focus on a practice of gratitude. For when we do, we take that intention and put it into real, meaningful action.
To practice, meaning there is a muscle to grow.
Our muscle of gratitude needs to be worked regularly, like any other muscle in our body. It needs to stretch in order to grow bigger.
In stretching and growing our gratitude muscle, we then become more resilient by default. The two are inextricably intertwined and connected.
A regular practice of gratitude is key to creating sustainable resiliency.
When we lose sight of our own ability to be resilient, we then become urgent and desperate for answers, for solutions. The more that anxiety rises, the more we focus all of our energy on the very thing catalyzing the worry in the first place.
You have the power to choose a different path.
You can choose to seek the positive.
Now, I am not talking about toxic positivity, where you bullshit yourself into believing everything is sunshine, roses, and unicorns. I’m addressing the realm of tapping into hope and faith.
For that is having the confidence to trust (and know) that while the situation sucks, and may even feel a bit dire, that you are fully supported (the Universe has got you) and that this too shall pass.
Confidence is merely the belief in oneself to figure it out.
When you lean into there seven strategies, you will find that you can be more deliberate and purposeful in the words you use. That you can rise above and seek understanding without attachment. That you can see more options and better solutions as you are coming from a place of response, not reaction. You can also see the blessings and gifts of this challenge.
The power to choose is always yours.