In Our Desperate Need to Fit In, Have We Lost Our Ever-Loving Minds?

by candy barone Jan 09, 2024

Is it just me? 

What in the what is up with the Stanley Cup Tumbler craze?

If you haven’t heard about it yet … buckle up, you’re not going to believe it. 

People have actually been trampling over each other in Target stores to acquire one of these. Again, what in the what? Why? Seriously, is this the current state of our culture? How did we get here? I mean I am having a really hard time wrapping my head around this one.

When I say Stanley Cup Tumbler, I am talking about a stainless steel thermos-like container with a handle that holds water and keeps it cold, called the Quencher. It’s a cup that is proclaimed to be indestructible (apparently it even survived a car fire and was the only thing left intact). 

After the video of the tumbler surviving the fire went viral, young consumers went crazy over this product. The key demographic started with millennial women and now is spilling over into Gen Z.

The particular tumbler creating this current craze is a limited edition 40 oz. tumbler that is only available at Target in collaboration with Starbucks. The claim being that no more will be produced after this batch. 

I’ve been told it’s suppose to be the Beanie Babies play of 2024 … but, what?? Why? I don’t even know what questions to ask. I’m still in a state of disbelief that this is actually a thing and hitting all the news channels. 

Just to be clear, I thought the Beanie Babies craze was idiotic, as well.

And, here we are again … going absolutely nuts, as consumers, over a rather insignificant product. There is this perceived demand, and little well-trained animals, we react to it. We get so sucked in as a culture, and seemingly more so than ever these days. 

And, I can’t deny that I have experience it myself, as I have been susceptible to the programming at times, too. I easily can look around my house at several things and say: “Instagram (or Tik Tok) made me buy it.”

Yet, we seem to be getting sucked in more and more. People are losing their ability to think for themselves. We create demand out of nothing, and the masses are left scrambling trying to access the latest novelty. 

Our need for belonging has derailed us, and completely shut down our ability to rationally use common sense or discern our consumption and spending. We just get buying more, and getting sucked into the narrative. 

The crazy thing is that this isn’t even about belonging at all, it’s about acceptance. It’s about fitting in.

These are two different things.

As Brené Brown discussed in her book, The Gifts of Imperfection: 

“Fitting in is about assessing a situation and becoming who you need to be to be accepted. Belonging, on the other hand, doesn’t require us to change who we are; it requires us to be who we are.

In her book, Braving the Wilderness, she elaborated on this perspective: 

“True belonging doesn’t require you to change who you are; it requires you to be who you are. Being part of something bigger but also having the courage to stand alone, and to belong to yourself above all else.
Belonging is being accepted for you. Fitting in is being accepted for being like everyone else. If I get to be me, I belong. If I have to be like you, I fit in.”

You see, this craze has nothing to do with belonging.

It’s all about fitting in. 

It’s about being seen as part of the “in crowd” … it’s a status symbol and one that is relatively affordable for a good number of people. For about $50, you can be part of the Stanley Cup club (and, no I am not referring to my fellow Blackhawks or hockey fans). 

It’s about the perception of being like everyone else. Or, at least those we deem to be a comparable and worthy ideal or standard for ourselves. 

Now, don’t get me wrong, I live in Texas and I love my Yeti tumbler cup. I carry that thing with me everywhere and it helps me get in my daily water intake. It definitely keeps my water ice cold and is extremely durable. That being said, I’m not about to lose sleep over it, or find myself camping out in a parking lot overnight just to line up at 3:00 AM to get my hands on one. 

It’s honestly not that serious. I can find another brand and another tumbler. It’s just a cup. Right? Yet, somehow, when it comes to the Stanley Quencher, people are willing to do anything to get their hands on ones. 

Everything from trampling over each other as they race through Target to secure one of the new limited release cups in partnership with Starbucks, to stocking up on multiple colors, only to re-selling at top dollar.

Some of these resells are listed for hundreds, if not thousands of dollars. 

It’s insane. 

We, as a culture, are so easily influenced and manipulated. 

We continue to buy into this ridiculous narrative about not being enough, and seek to find those things that will fill that gap and make us feel whole. From one product, service, program, or hack to the next, we hope that it will be the thing to save us from ourselves. 

We believe that only when we look like everyone else, act like everyone else, and buy what everyone else has on Tik Tok will will finally feel worthy and like we are enough. We buy into to the lack and not enough narrative.

It’s mindless programming.

And, we are completely sucked in, hook, line and sinker. 

Now, while there are some good things social media offers us (though, most days I struggle to identify what that is), this is truly the detrimental side. Just go look at see what most of the messaging is about. It’s all about what we lack, what we need, or a magic, life-changing this or that.

Nothing but noise. And, excessive amounts of it. So. Much. Noise.

As a result, we have stopped using any kind of common sense when it comes to the decisions we make, especially around the things we buy. We’ve lost touch with our own ability to listen to our intuition, or sense of knowing, and to respond in alignment to our own truth. 

We’ve allow influencers, many who are not even experts or qualified, to steer us in any variety of directions and course of behaviors. Often to the detriment to our health, sense of peace, and our wallets.

We don’t stop to ask ourselves what is driving our desires and behaviors, thus not providing a space to disrupt our buying patterns and choices. We don’t know our own aligned yeses and nos, we just act on impulse.

In fact, we are a very impulsive, consumer-driven nation. 

We see it, we want it. If there is any type of demand created around something, we have to have it. We obsess about it. It’s created a culture of instant gratification, overconsumption, overspending, immense debt, an ongoing sense of lack and a need to keep up with the Joneses.

Ultimately, it leaves us feeling empty, joyless, trapped, and unfulfilled. 

We’ve forgotten how to listen to our truth, to our bodies (and how they are designed to respond), our intuition, and our sense of better judgement. We have forgotten that we are enough and that we don’t need anything to complete us (especially an arbitrary product or item). 

The truth is you don’t need it. Any of it. 

Most of the stuff we buy is crap. It’s useless. It’s not necessary. It’s definitely not going to change your life, or make you more worthy. More times than not, it just creates excess and clutter, to which you then need to purchase something else to manage your chaos (think tumbler racks). 

You are enough. 

You don’t need to purchase that thing, that service, that product, the Stanley Cup Tumbler, or anything else for that matter. it does not define you or elevate your “status” … it’s just a thing. 

And, likely, an unnecessary one at that.

What you need is to start feeling your own truth. To become aligned in your own belonging to you. It’s not about another purchase, it’s about getting grounded back into your body. When you remember who you are, and recognize that our decisions are not designed to be made from our minds and what we see as inspiration, or the narrative attached to them, we then move into our body and realize how little crap we really need. 

It’s about asking yourself what is driving this need to buy the thing? Is it that you really need it or would benefit from it, or are you doing so to fit in?

Maybe, just maybe, shut off your social media for a moment, stop the mindless and endless scrolling, and learn how to be in company with yourself. Take a moment to see all that you already have, feel into the value of your own worth, and know that you are enough. 

It’s starts when we stop following the crowd, and start leading ourselves first. When we ask ourselves the “why” questions behind our motives and actions. When we stop handing over our power and letting others tell us who they think we are. When we stop trying so hard to fit in.

For this life is not one for you to fit into, it’s one for you to create.

It’s all about alignment, and belonging to yourself first. 


If you’d like to better understand your what alignment looks like and feels like for you, by accessing your unique energetic blueprint, innate wiring, and the operating plan of you, then registered to get your customized Foundational Human Design Reading.

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